Bond
by Eminempern
Summary: When S'til loses his dragon and becomes Sattil, he must cope with the pain, with the help of his friends, from the Weyr and his new home in Lemos Hold. ON HOLD. Not abandoned, ON HOLD.
1. Chapter 1: Two at Once

**Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Pern. I do, however, have my characters, and do not use them without my permission... Not that I think anyone wants to... **

**ANs: OK, this story is complicated. Here's the deal: I wrote a story. Pretty long, too. In word, it was over fifty pages. OK, kind of long. But, going through it, I decided it wasn't my favorite. So, I pulled out one of my favorite parts: the first mating flight. So, it may not be the best stand alone piece. It may not even be good at all. You don't get to know the characters real well - that was fleshed out in the story. But read it anyway, and PLEASE PLEASE review to tell me how I can fix it. I WILL listen to constructive critisism. And I will probably get flames. Oh well. Just read it. **

**ANs, pt 2: Thank you,****lilybee, for your advice on perspectives. I've fixed that here. Anyone else who would like to give me help, it would be welcome.**

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* * *

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_Hungry,_ Kirroth said urgently, his eyes spinning.

"Right, right…" T'nar mumbled, trying to get up. He rubbed his eyes. "Just wait a minute…"

_I'm hungry_ now, Kirroth said adamantly.

"'Now?' Why so urgent?"

_I'm hungry now!_

T'nar dressed as quickly as he could, then swung onto Kirroth's back. The bronze sprang off the ledge and swooped down to the hunting grounds.

To T'nar's surprise, several other bronzes were also approaching the herdbeasts' pens.

Then it hit him. _Lilianth!_ The senior queen was rising!

Kirroth waited impatiently for his rider to dismount, then deftly killed a buck. He sucked the blood from the carcass, ignoring his rider's urgent questions.

The twenty-nine bronzes that would participate in Lilianth's first mating flight came quickly. Kirroth would be up against some good beasts, but T'nar had utmost faith in his dragon to catch the queen.

Ydrath blooded with deft experience, but Kirroth and T'nar ignored the bronze that had caught Horriath, the deceased queen, so many times. There were real threats they needed to be concerned about.

Orloth was, as C'var boasted, very muscled. Champioth, whose name gave his rider confidence, was healthy and strong, and U'bilo was cocky. Saienth, of B'diol, was also a good beast. And R'hil's Xaieoth was also in his prime.

All the bronzeriders mounted their beasts. Then, all flew, wings glinting, to the queen's weyr. They competed for space in front of it, crowding around the entrance. It was on ground level, so those unable to get right in the doorway stood right behind those who had been.

Kirroth had managed to get close enough, and T'nar swung off to stride into Lynnia's weyr.

* * *

"Wh-What's going on?" demanded Lynnia, unnerved by the expressions on the bronze riders' faces. 

"Lilianth is rising!"

Shocked, Lynnia reeled backwards. When a rider reached out to grab her arm, she shrieked, "Don't touch me!"

The riders then commenced pelting the poor queen's rider with reminders, like "Don't let her eat!" and "She has to blood!" and "Control her!" and "Stay with her the whole time!"

"I know, I know!" Lynnia shouted, backing away from the bright-eyed men.

Her cry roused Lilianth. The queen's mind sent Lynnia reeling again, and she stumbled to the gold's head. But Lilianth swept out past her rider, snarling at the bronzes gathered around her weyr. They hastened to get out of the way.

Someone grabbed Lynnia and swung her up on Kirroth's neck. She didn't notice who the bronze or his rider were. Her attention was solely on her queen.

She was off the dark neck and running toward her queen as soon as the bronze had landed, shrieking, "Don't eat that, Lilianth! NO!"

Lilianth shrilled defiantly. She was desperately hungry.

"Don't you dare!"

Lynnia wasn't aware that she was speaking aloud. She had to stop Lilianth from doing anything but blooding.

Suddenly, another, equally glowing dragon swooped down from her weyr, a disheveled rider on her back.

_Pinceath!_

* * *

Lilianth swung her head up, bellowing her rejection of another female dragon in heat – even if it was just a green. 

T'nar could have hit himself over the head. Pinceath was rising! At the same time as Lilianth!

_Kirroth! Get S'til away from here!_

Kirroth added his bellow to the other bronzes'. When Pinceath continued down to the Hunting Grounds, Kirroth and three other males leapt skyward, flying at Pinceath until the green squeaked, going _between_.

Lilianth flung wide her glowing wings, calling seductively to the tense bronzes waiting around her. Then she leapt into the air.

All became one with their dragons. Kirroth's mind blended with T'nar's. Lynnia couldn't tell her mind from Lilianth's. None of the humans noticed when they were prodded into the queen's weyr by the anxious weyrfolk. And the flight began.

* * *

Lilianth soared through the air on wings that had never known such strength. The bronzes followed her admirably, though she knew that none of them could match her. 

Kirroth spun in midair to avoid hitting Einth, as the other bronze blundered. His claws unintentionally raked the other bronze across the side. Einth screamed and went _between_. Kirroth once again powered his wings, in hot pursuit of Lilianth.

Lilianth flew, mocking the males with the occasional taunting call.

Suddenly, though, another screech matched hers. Furious, Lilianth spun around, searching for the other female. How dare another attempt to contend for her bronzes!

There was a green. Pinceath. Forgetting the bronzes, Lilianth shot toward Pinceath, letting loose a bellow of intense anger.

Pinceath had apparently left her rider somewhere, and come back to mate. But Lilianth refused to share. She flew toward the green, talons outstretched. But Pinceath, smaller and more maneuverable, darted out of the way, shrieking.

Pinceath evaded Lilianth and flew to the bronzes, calling invitingly to them. But she didn't notice the bigger queen come up behind her.

Lilianth dealt Pinceath a slashing blow across the hindquarters, causing the green to scream in pain, whirling to face the queen. Lilianth took advantage of the speed the green had put on, raking the other in the face while Pinceath was still off-balance.

Wailing, Pinceath backwinged. But Lilianth was bent on blood, and flew full toward the green.

_No!_ Lynnia thought desperately, but it was too late. Lilianth dove at Pinceath and locked her jaws on the green's neck.

She disentangled herself just in time to avoid being brought by Pinceath as the green went _between_, her agony provoking her to seek the oblivion.

Satisfied, Lilianth turned to the bronzes, who had hovered, confused, nearby. They keened, lamenting the dead dragon. But they realized that this was the queen they were facing, and took up the chase once more.

Lilianth threw Pinceath out of her mind quickly, flying far and fast away from the males, not tired enough to impact the flight.

Bronzes began falling back, until Kirroth was only sharing the airspace with Orloth, Champioth, Saienth, and Xaieoth. He disregarded them, locking his sights only on the queen.

Lilianth glanced back. Seeing the number of bronzes still following her, she sharply turned to the left, causing Champioth and Xaieoth to collide. They went _between_, reappearing over the weyrfolk, so far away.

Kirroth, Orloth, and Saienth powered their wings, after the queen.

Lilianth turned and folded her wings, diving. Saienth went between, squealing in fright as he almost collided with Orloth.

Now, it was only between Kirroth and Orloth. Kirroth flew on, his wings aching.

He was shocked when he felt his wing crumple against his side. Orloth had hit him! He jerked his wing back out, putting on an extra burst of speed. Orloth bellowed in frustration as Kirroth sped past him. He snapped at the other bronze's tail.

Lilianth, amused, slowed to watch the two bronzes squabble. So she was caught off-guard when Kirroth ducked under Orloth and plummeted straight for her.

He caught her quickly, before she could evade him. Twisting his neck around hers, he spread his wings. Outmaneuvered, Lilianth did the same, slowing the speed of their terrific descent.

* * *

Lynnia was surprised to find herself back in her own body, in her bed. T'nar smiled at her. 

She gave a happy sigh, then closed her eyes, blissfully unaware – for the present – of the pain of the rider of that green, Pinceath.

**

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ANs: It never says that greens fight like queens do when mating, but it never says they don't. So, I say they do. If people want me to, I might put up the rest of - or more of - the story, but for now, it's a standalone. Really, please review. I WILL do what people think I should with this story! Honest! **


	2. Chapter 2: Sattil

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Yes, I own NADA. Except my characters and plot...**

**ANs: Yes, I have added to this story. There were sufficient requests to motivate me to do so. I'm sorry it took so long, even though I have the whole thing written out. Ya see, there's this character in later who's a blatant HAD Mary-sue. Gotta fix that. But here you are, and I'd like to thank my reviewers for this story - so far: astrokath, CrossoverQueen, Afanen, lilybee (special thanks!), and me (I used to use that name for anonymous reviews, too!)**

* * *

Sattil

Sattil stared at the fire. That was what he had changed his name to, now that… that Pinceath…

Beside him sat Lari, a greenrider whom he had always been friendly with. She looked at him, afraid, but she pitied him. She would not leave him alone now.

"S'ti– uh, Sattil?" she asked hesitantly. He looked up at her, face blank. He felt as though he were made of stone, his heart frozen.

Lari shrank away from the look on his face. "S-Sattil, I'm… I'm sorry."

He snapped his gaze back onto the crackling flames. He didn't want to talk about Pinceath… _His Pinceath! _She was gone… Sattil would never again be S'til. Would never again have the wonderful presence in his head of another, who would always love him, would always be his. His dragon.

He felt the hole in his heart expand again, squeezing him tight. He didn't cry. He had no tears left. But the agony was no less sharp than it had been the instant he had felt his Pinceath go _between _for the last time.

He vaguely remembered screaming in blind terror. He heard, as though through thick cloth, the keening of brown Charloth as the other dragon mourned for Pinceath.

Sattil had been brought back to the Weyr – on dragonback! It had only sharpened his pain. He had then staggered away from the wailing brown, able to think of nothing but getting as far as possible from the thing that was causing him his heartbreak.

_Pinceath! _He had never thought that her name was the best dragon's name ever – it didn't have the beautiful ringing roll of some, like Lilianth or Champioth. But it had been _his_ dragon's name. She had brightened every day, made everything happy, even when he was practically driven _between_ with boredom or hard work.

He had been brought into his weyr. But, as soon as the kind hands guided him there, he had cried out and backed up, refusing. It smelled of Pinceath. It _was _Pinceath, as far as he was concerned. So, they had put him in a bed somewhere in the Lower Caverns. Blind and gasping, he had fallen into a pain-racked sleep.

He had woken and come to sit before the fire, slumped in an armchair. He had refused all food offers. Then Lari had come.

"S-Sattil, are you… all right?"

Sattil felt like screaming at her. _All right! Why would I be all right! PINCEATH…!_

"Am… am I bothering you?"

Didn't she know that, even if she was, he wasn't going to tell her? He couldn't talk, the pain clamping his lips together over his teeth.

"Should I talk about something else?" Lari asked softly.

Sattil still made no reply. So, the woman sat next to him, until he couldn't stand it. He just couldn't be here.

He stood up abruptly. Surprised, Lari looked up at him.

"I'm leaving," Sattil said, his words clipped, sharp, and not betraying his inner anguish. Nothing could. Nothing could express this feeling.

"What do you mean?" Lari asked blankly, not comprehending what he was saying right away.

"I can't stay here," Sattil said.

"Stay… in the Weyr?" Lari said, shocked. "But… where will you go?"

Sattil paused slightly. He had been an apprentice Harper before… but, no. He was too old now, and had never completed his training. Besides, how could he make music now?

"Lemos Hold." That was where he had lived before he had even been an apprentice Harper.

"Oeonth and I'll take you," Lari said, standing too.

Sattil cringed at the thought of riding another dragon – and a green, at that!

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sattil! But… you have to leave the Weyr somehow. There's no other way…"

"I can do it," Sattil whispered.

He couldn't stay in the Weyr. Not with dragons all around, constant reminders of what he had lost.

Sattil climbed, numb, onto green Oeonth's great neck. Lari swung up in front of him, slapping her dragon's neck.

"Lemos Hold, girl," she said, causing Sattil another stab at the heart. Her voice was so full of affection, warmth. Affection and warmth that S'til had felt for…

Sattil abruptly cut off that thought.

Flying on a dragon was almost unbearable. _Between _was a harsh slap in the face.

But he couldn't be in the Weyr without Pinceath.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long and it's so short. But I'll prolly get more up soon, soon as I fix the Mary-Sue. If anything is confusing, just ask. Thanks for reading, and _REVIEW_!**


	3. Chapter 3: Kaeyi

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this story aside from the characters, this world would not be the one it is today. So, I own nothing. Please don't sue me. I'm pretty much broke anyway.**

**ANs: Wow, that took a shardin long time for me to add to this story. The sad thing is, I had it all written up, too. I'm so lazy. Sorry, sorry! I updated, though! Well, 10 pts to anyone who can guess who the Mary-sue _was_ in this story... And see the next chapter (when I add it) to read about the watch-whers in my story.**

**About reviews... How's this? Everyone out there, just review with a number between 1 and 10 to tell me your opinion of my story. 1 being the worst and 10 being best. That's all you have to put in the review, one number (though I'd love it if you could put more...) Even anonymous people can! I just want some feedback on how I'm doing.**

**(ANs, pt 2: Thank you, Astrokath, for your helpful reviews! I hope I've fixed the things you pointed out. I did my best...**

**I should have the next chapter up shortly.)**

* * *

T'nar slumped on the couch, scrubbing his face with his hands.

They had visited Sattil at Lemos Hold, where they'd been told that Lari had taken him. T'nar had hardly known what to say to the dragonless man. _S'til? Losing Pinceath? Becoming Sattil? Inconceivable! _But it had happened.

T'nar couldn't imagine losing Kirroth.

_You won't lose me, _Kirroth said confidently.

_How do you know that? _T'nar asked, shaken.

_I won't let it happen._

T'nar gave a harsh laugh. _You can't always control that, Kirroth._

Lynnia walked into the weyr. She stopped, a concerned look on her face, when she saw her weyrmate, slumped dejectedly on the couch.

"What's wrong, T'nar?" she asked.

"I was thinking about S't – Sattil," he said softly.

"Oh…" Lynnia said. She flopped onto the couch next to T'nar. He saw tears in her eyes.

Then, all of a sudden, she burst out, "T'nar! It's all my fault! I should have stopped Lilianth! She – she flew at Pinceath, and I knew what she was going to do, but I didn't stop her – I couldn't…" she trailed off, gasping sobs racking her body.

T'nar awkwardly patted her shoulder, wishing he could soothe her better. "Well… it's not your fault, Lynnia. Lilianth was mating, and Pinceath was in her way. You couldn't have stopped her. It had to happen. Don't worry. I'm sure S't – Sattil doesn't blame you. Besides, there'll soon be many more dragons Hatching."

"But Pinceath will never come back," Lynnia whispered.

T'nar felt tears spring to his eyes too, but he sternly got a grip on his emotions. "We'll be all right, Lynnia. It's going to be all right."

* * *

_Later..._

Sattil felt his body tense as the drums rolled out the joyful news: Hatching. He listened to the count: One queen, three bronzes, six browns, thirteen blues, and twenty-one greens.

Sattil clenched his fists when the green hatchlings were announced. He could hardly bear it. Against his will, he remembered Pinceath's Hatching…

_Pinceath!_

* * *

T'nar clenched his teeth when Kirroth whined outside.

_Sattil again?_

_Yes! _the bronze replied, his own tone expressing Sattil's anguish.

"Excuse me, good Holder," T'nar said to Harodom, Lord Holder of Bitra Hold, with whom he had been meeting. "But Kirroth and I have something to sort out."

"Wait," Harodom said, also rising. "Are you leaving the room or the Hold?"

T'nar grinned briefly. "Both, Lord Holder."

"But we haven't finished negotiating the tithes!" Harodom protested.

"My Lord, this is dragonrider business. I must go," T'nar said firmly, saying to Kirroth, _Get ready to go. Sattil needs us._

T'nar quickly disentangled himself and went out to Kirroth.

_We are going to Sattil? _Kirroth asked.

_Yes. Lemos Hold, m'lad._

_But we will once again cause him pain. I am a dragon, _Kirroth pointed out.

_I'd not noticed. C'mon now, we _must_ make this stop happening!_

So Kirroth lunged up, into the air, and within five beats of his wings, went _between_.

T'nar looked over Lemos Hold as his dragon wheeled, preparing to land. He grinned as he saw children spill out into the courtyard, in awe at the sight of a dragon – and a bronze, at that!

Kirroth landed delicately, barely sending up a puff of dust.

_Showoff, _T'nar said affectionately.

_They watch. I give them something to see._

T'nar swung off the great neck.

"Hello there," he said. "I'm looking for Sattil? Recently come? Dragonless?"

The children's faces darkened. One stepped forward, a lad of about twelve. "Why do you want to see him?"

"He's my friend," T'nar said. Suddenly, one of the kids elbowed the speaker in the ribs.

"_That's Benden's Weyrleader, thickskull!_" the girl hissed.

T'nar gave a slight smile. "Yes, I am. And I would still like to see Sattil."

"I'll take you," the girl who had corrected the lad said. She was actually not so much a girl as a young woman, perhaps about sixteen Turns old.

"I'm much obliged," T'nar said. Then the girl led him to one of the doors that went out of the courtyard. The children behind them gasped as Kirroth beat his mighty wings to fly up and land neatly somewhere up higher.

"What's it like to be a dragonrider?" the girl asked wistfully. "I'm Kaeyi, my Lord," she added, more properly, as though she was afraid she had stepped over the line, speaking so familiarly to a Weyrleader.

"It's wonderful, Kaeyi," T'nar said, as they wended their way through the Hold.

As Kaeyi listened raptly, he went through the best and worst parts of being a rider. They were walking farther and farther from the courtyard, and now up and up. Sattil obviously liked seclusion.

T'nar wondered what he was actually going to do once he reached the dragonless man. Tell him to stop grieving for his dragon? Order him? Maybe this visit had been a foolish and rash decision.

Then, it hit him. He turned to Kaeyi. "Kaeyi, does Lemos have a watch-wher?"

Kaeyi frowned. "Parisk just died," she said softly. "Lord Cardorao has just gotten a new egg, but no one wants to become the new wher's friend."

T'nar thought quickly. What if Sattil didn't want a watch-wher? Would it be too much like a dragon? T'nar knew the man had refused firelizards.

"Here we are, my Lord," Kaeyi said, stopping in front of a door on the highest, most secluded part of the Hold. "Do you need anything else, my Lord?"

T'nar grinned. "Please, girl, call me T'nar."

Kaeyi's eyes widened.

"And I probably won't be able to fine my way back," T'nar admitted.

"I'll come take you back," Kaeyi said instantly. Then she added, "...T'nar."

T'nar chuckled. "I'll have Kirroth let you know when it's time for you to lead me back to him."

"Let me know? How will he do that?" Kaeyi asked.

"He has his ways," T'nar said airily. Then, he nodded to Kaeyi and knocked on the door to Sattil's room.

It swung open. Kaeyi scampered once it did. T'nar got the impression that all the holders were frightened of the dragonless man.

"T'nar," Sattil said in a voice that almost broke. "I saw – saw K – saw your – …"

T'nar put a hand on the man's shoulder. "C'n I come in, Sattil?"

Sattil nodded and stepped asked, his face a tight mask. T'nar couldn't imagine – and nor did he want to – the anguish Sattil must be feeling.

Sattil's room had apparently become a sort of workshop. There were broken instruments. T'nar remembered that Sattil had been a harper apprentice before –

"What do you want?" Sattil asked. T'nar winced as he realized he was causing the man more pain than usual, being a dragonrider.

"You disturbed the dragons again today," T'nar blurted. _Oh, not tactful! _"I mean, we felt that you were not…"

"That's all right," Sattil said. His voice seemed to grate in T'nar's ears. "You don't need to soften things for me."

"Look, Sattil, I can't stand you like this!" T'nar burst out. "You need to get better!"

Sattil looked at him with blank eyes. "Get better? I can't get better without Pinceath!" he said, and this time, rough emotion shook his tone. "Pinceath's gone, T'nar! She's gone forever! I can't get better without _PINCEATH_!" The last word rose to a scream of agony.

T'nar reached for the man's arm, but Sattil yanked it away. "No," he whispered. "No."

T'nar remembered his plan, for Sattil to get a watch-wher. _It's worth a try, _he said to Kirroth.

"Sattil," he said. Not softly, not soothingly. He knew that the Sattil was probably taking the pity almost worse than he was taking the pain. "Sattil, I had an idea."

Sattil watched him, tears on his cheeks.

"Sattil, Lemos Hold is getting a new watch-wher. I think you should befriend it," T'nar said.

Sattil balked immediately at the thought of attaching any but his dragon. But T'nar held up his hand. "Hear me out.

"A wher can't give you back all that you lost, but it will be better than nothing. Shards, Sattil! None of us, humans or –" he added viciously, "_dragons_, can stand you like this. _Please _consider it, Sattil."

"I refused firelizards," Sattil said in a dead tone.

"I know. But whers are different," T'nar said, hoping the man would believe him. "Not so much like dragons, but still enough like them. Please, Sattil." And now, he was begging. "_PLEASE _do this. Do it for your Hold. Do it… for our Weyr."

Sattil watched him for a long time. Finally, he said, "They will not want me to get the watch-wher."

T'nar's heart leapt excitedly. Did that mean Sattil was considering it?

"I can arrange that, Sattil. No worries. But, _do you want it_?"

After another extraordinarily long pause, Sattil whispered, "I don't like hurting any more than you like me hurting."

"I'll talk to the Lord Holder," T'nar said, a happy bubble swelling inside of him. "I heard that no one else wanted to become the wher's own."

"I thank you, T'nar," Sattil said, the effort it cost him obvious. "I thank you… bronzerider."

Kaeyi jumped when she heard the great rumble of the bronze dragon. He landed neatly in the courtyard again, and turned his huge head toward her. She sprang to her feet and dashed for the door, calling an explanation over her shoulder.

She hurried up to the dragonless man's room, then knocked politely on the door.

T'nar came out and smiled at Kaeyi.

"Hello, my L- T'nar," she corrected herself hastily.

"Kaeyi," T'nar said.

"Come this way," Kaeyi said, leading him to a corridor that would take them to his dragon. She had actually brought them a slightly longer way on their way here, because hearing about dragonriders had been so fascinating.

"Is – is Sattil all right?" she asked hesitantly.

"I made him an offer," T'nar told her, "That might not have been _mine _to offer, but it will really help him."

"What is it?" Kaeyi asked, her curiosity aroused.

"I told him to be the wherhandler when your new watch-wher hatches," T'nar said.

Kaeyi gaped at him. "Really?"

"Did I do something wrong?" T'nar asked, frowning slightly.

"Oh, no, Weyrleader, sir. You did us a big favor," Kaeyi assured him.

"I did?"

"Yes. You found us a wherhandler. No one else wanted to do it. And you got the dragonless man – uh, Sattil to get out and stop being –" she clapped her hand over her mouth. "Uh…"

"That's OK," T'nar said. "I could tell he'd not been of much use lately. He needs to get out in the world. And he needs that wher."

"Do you want me to bring you to Lord Holder Cardorao so you can ask him about it?" Kaeyi asked.

"If you would," T'nar said. "I'll tell Kirroth to wait."

So Kaeyi lead the dragonrider to her Lord. He always was in his study at this time. Kaeyi watched the dragonrider greet the Hold Lord, then the two disappeared into the study.

Kaeyi waited until T'nar came out again, then lead him back out to the courtyard, where his bronze dragon still sat.

"T-T'nar?" Kaeyi finally asked, hesitantly. He turned to her.

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me about… Sattil?"

"S'til was Pinceath's rider," T'nar said softly, lowering his gaze.

"Pinceath? That was his dragon's name? He never told us. What color was Pinceath?" Kaeyi asked.

"S'til was rider of green Pinceath. She was weyrmate to brown Romanth, of Z'pollo. S'til was in our Wing. When the queen at Benden, Lilianth, rose to mate – when we caught her – Pinceath also was in heat. They fought. Pinceath, wounded, went _between_. We couldn't save her, and Lilianth needed catching. S'til… became Sattil."

Kaeyi was horrified at the dark story. "Oh… I'm so sorry." Then, she decided to change the subject to something more pleasant. "So… Kirroth caught Lilianth? That's how you became the Weyrleader?"

"Yep."

"We'd heard about the clutch… A queen! We were happy for the Weyr. That's two queens at once, isn't it?"

"Thread comes. We _need_ more than one queen. We need many more," T'nar replied firmly.

"More than two?" Kaeyi asked, surprised.

"Of course! All the Weyrs are understrength. We need to Fight Thread." Kaeyi frowned slightly at this, but didn't continue the subject of the debatable menace.

"Who Impressed the queen?"

"Nikkith was Impressed by Kinsa, a girl from Benden Hold," T'nar said.

"When will a queen clutch again?" Kaeyi asked, begging the Egg that her hopes weren't too obvious.

T'nar paused, thinking, then said, "None at Benden for another Turn."

"Oh," Kaeyi said.

"But at Igen, Tiaronth rises soon."

"But… I mean, that's good," Kaeyi said, smiling weakly.

"But Igen will not Search you," T'nar said gently.

Kaeyi winced. "It _was _obvious, wasn't it?"

"Of course you want to Impress a dragon," T'nar shrugged. "Most everyone does."

"Igen _might _Search me, mightn't they?"

"Igen has enough weyrbred. They shouldn't have to leave the Weyr for a Search. Besides, Lemos isn't beholden to Igen Weyr."

"What about Fort's queen – Quarrith?"

"Quarrith only rises once every six Turns," the Weyrleader said, disgust coloring his tone. "And, again, you are not beholden to them."

"When Lilianth clutches again…" Kaeyi blushed. "I can't _ask _to be Searched, can I?"

The bronzerider shook his head apologetically. "I don't think so. Sorry. Dragons have to approve of you.

"Well, Kirroth and I need to go back to the Weyr now, but, when that watch-wher Hatches… We'll come again."

Kaeyi smiled, inclining her head. "I'll see you then."

Kaeyi mentally berated herself again and again after bronze Kirroth took off. How could she have been such a _dimglow_? Talking so much and comfortably around the Weyrleader! Then _trying to invite herself to be Searched! _That was unacceptable! How could she have been so presumptuous? She would never be able to look that bronzerider in the face again.

Ah, well. What was done was done. She couldn't change it, and so all she could do was continue with her life.

She bit her lip, thinking about whether Sattil would get the watch-wher. She wondered what it was like. She'd hardly ever seen the old wher at Lemos. She knew they bonded to their wherhandler, but that was about it. Well, live and learn.

* * *

For once, Lemos Hold wished it didn't have a watchdragon on the heights. They would have preferred not to hear his death-keen of utter sorrow.

Suddenly, all heard a shriek from above. All turned their eyes to the ceiling.

"Sattil!"

Kaeyi realized what was going on.

"Sattil! He sensed the dragon's death!" she gasped. She scrambled for the door. She had to comfort him! How terrible it must be for him. He must be reliving his own Pinceath's final leap _between_.

Disregarding all the others, Kaeyi dashed up the stairs until she found the room of the dragonless man. She burst through the door.

She found Sattil, on his knees on the floor, ragged sobs racking his thin frame.

Kaeyi immediately dropped down beside him. He turned his head to her, his tear-streaked face a mask of anguish.

Kaeyi realized with a jolt that he wasn't actually all that older than she was. She put a comforting arm around his shoulders, not even awkward. All she could think of making the poor dragonless man feel better.

Sattil just sobbed harder. Kaeyi pulled him to her, wishing that she could somehow take the pain away from him.

Abruptly, Sattil's crying stopped. He straightened, and the look in his eyes made Kaeyi shrink back.

"I'm getting that watch-wher," Sattil said. The determination in his voice made Kaeyi look at him in wonder.

"Good," she said.

* * *

**Well, there you have it! So, remember: 1-10. Please review, even just to nitpick.**

**Oh, and if you were confused: because Sattil used to be a dragonrider, the dragons whose riders were close to him are still vaguely in touch with his mind, and can feel when he hurts particuarly badly. This happens quite a lot. The man did lose his dragon!**

**Wow, this was pretty long. Expect the other chapter up soon... Or not...**


	4. Chapter 4: Watchwher

_**Disclaimer: Don't own what you recognize.**_

**Author's Notes: _On Watch-whers: _this story now walks the fine line of canon. I think I know the two ways whers have been portrayed, but I didn't like either one. There was Anne's original, where they were just like dogs. I wanted Sattil to bond with one, so that meant Todd, Anne McCaffrey's son, was the author who I needed to look to. However, _Dragon's Kin_ was a less-than-satisfactory book (what was with the watch-whers drinking the blood of their bonded ones?). So, I settled my whers somewhere between the two authors. They are more like firelizards, they just Impress. They can't _talk_, persay, like dragons can to their riders. The whers communicate with sound that their handlers can understand for the most part.**

**If I offend anyone by my non-traditional portrayal of whers, sorry. Honestly.**

**(Author's notes, pt 2: Thanks to Kitsuneko for his/her telling me about the wher changin names. Thanks!)**

* * *

Kirroth threw up his head. 

_T'nar!_

The Weyrleader leapt to his feet. "What, Kirroth?"

_The wher Hatches! _Kirroth said urgently.

T'nar grinned. _Let's go! _he said.Then, he added, _Is Sattil all right?_

_He looks forward to the hatching of the wher,_ Kirroth said. _He still hurts for Pinceath, but he _wants_ to feel better._

T'nar vaulted up onto his bronze's neck, telling him to inform Lilianth where they were going. Then, they winked _between_.

When they burst back out, Kirroth landed neatly in the courtyard of Lemos once more.

Kaeyi was waiting impatiently for them, and when T'nar swung off of Kirroth, she beckoned for him to follow her. "The egg is here. It's Hatching! Sattil is with it already."

T'nar followed her to where Sattil sat, crouched over a rocking, mottled egg. Next to him was Aromor, the handler of the previous, dead, wher.

Sattil looked up briefly, then returned his attention to the wher-egg.

Kirroth lowered his great head to peer into the small shed. T'nar hadn't noticed the bronze following them

_It is small, _he commented. Before T'nar could reply to that, the bronze cried, _It Hatches! _He lifted his deep rumbling voice to give the traditional dragon hum of a Hatching.

Suddenly, the egg split, and out tumbled a small watch-wher.

T'nar had, of course, seen a watch-wher before, but never a tiny, slimy one. Kirroth was, of course, naturally scornful, as all dragons were, of their uglier, more ungainly cousins, but T'nar hushed him. The expression on Sattil's face made coming all the way here worthwhile.

* * *

Sattil watched the little wher tumble out of the egg with bated breath. 

When he saw that it was a green, he felt like a knife had slashed at his heart, but then, the little wher looked up at him and squeaked at him, so much like Pinceath had first done, that Sattil couldn't help reaching out and caressing the little damp, forest-green head. He realized that tears were streaming down his face.

With every time he touched her, he felt a tingling in the back of his skull. He was bonding with her. It was almost like Pinceath's Impression, but far less strong. Nonetheless, Sattil felt a hesitant warmth creeping up from deep inside of him.

"What's her name?" Aromor asked.

Sattil looked at the watch-wher. "How about it?" he asked her, remembering how Pinceath had announced hers to him. "What's your name?"

He looked at Aromor, confused, when she didn't answer him.

"Oh, you have to give her options," Aromor informed Sattil.

The dragonless man paused. Didn't all wher names end in 'sk'? He was pretty sure of it. "How about Eisk?" Sattil asked. The green wher snorted disapprovingly.

"Pirsk? Tiask? Sask?" At the last name, the watch-wher gave a sound of approval.

"Sask," Sattil said proudly, looking up at the spectators. They grinned at him.

"Sask," he said again, looking at the watch-wher. She wasn't a dragon, but she was good enough.

"_Errwrrr…_" Sask said, as though saying, _I should _hope_ I am_!

* * *

Kaeyi watched as Sattil stroked Sask's head. Kaeyi grinned. No matter how many times she saw the dragonless man with the watch-wher, it always warmed her heart. 

Sask was eating so much, Kaeyi's arms ached from lugging it all the way over here. But it was worth it to see Sattil _smile_. And look _happy_. The whole Hold had been worried about him. He'd been like an illness, eating away at them all, despite the fact that he'd never left his room. There was something _wrong _with a dragonrider without a dragon.

Sask ducked her head against Sattil, making odd noises. Kaeyi wondered how Sattil managed to make sense of what the creature was saying. It seemed unintelligible to her.

But, all in all, it was a time for celebration.

Sask cocked her ugly head at the bronze dragon above her.

"Hey, Sattil," T'nar said cheerfully.

Sattil still cringed inwardly at the sight of a dragon, but he had to admit he felt some pleasure in seeing his old friend again.

"Weyrleader."

"Sask's looking right fine, for a watch-wher," T'nar said, then clapped his hand to his mouth. "Oooh…"

Sattil held his hand up, palm out, to show that he took no offense. "That's fine. They're nothing on… dragons."

Sask gave an indignant squeak. Sattil hastened to lay a hand on her stubby wing. "You're still fine, though," he assured her.

"She's doing all right?" T'nar asked, approaching the green wher. They were inside her den, with Kirroth looking in through the door.

"Fine enough," Sattil replied, nodding to the bronzerider. T'nar stepped forward to run his hands over the tough, green hide. He felt her powerful legs, grinning as her muscles rippled obviously under her thick skin. "She hates the light with a passion, but she's all right."

"Can't say as I know much about whers," T'nar said, straightening up. "But she seems to be a beautiful specimen. Have you been having any trouble caring for her?"

"Kaeyi helps me," Sattil said. "The girl loves anything draconic – which includes whers, them being distantly related and all."

"Kirroth likes her," T'nar said. "When Lilianth rises, I think we might send someone over her to Search Kaeyi."

Sattil felt a slight pang at the thought of losing the dedicated girl. She pitied him, but treated him like an equal, not something delicate. And she truly liked Sask.

Sask was, however, a great companion in herself. Never judging Sattil – not knowing how. They were still working out the whole communicating thing, but Sattil wouldn't have cared if she was mute. Without Pinceath, he was devastated whenever the wher left his sight.

"Kaeyi was asking after you," Sattil said. "She's infatuated with Kirroth, I'd say."

"The girl could be rider material," T'nar said. He'd seen much more of the girl during his more and more frequent trips to Lemos to check on Sattil and Sask.

"When… when's Lilianth due to rise?" Sattil inquired, swallowing the reflexive pain at the thought of the Weyr and dragons.

"Soon," T'nar replied. "The weyrlings are going to be assigned to their Wings today. Shards, it seems like they're scarcely Hatched."

Sattil watched as the Weyrleader leaned back, scrubbing his face with his hands.

"There's hardly a peaceful second," T'nar continued, his voice muffled through his knuckles. "Kirroth occasionally asks if I'm still alive."

Sattil forced a grin at the joke, which he found not the least bit funny. Realizing this a little too late, T'nar reached out to touch the dragonless man's arm in a consoling fashion.

"I'm fine," Sattil said softly, though his eyes were blurred with tears for his dead dragon.

"Good," T'nar said, even while his eyes made it plain that he knew Sattil was lying. "Just remember, if you ever need anything… Kirroth and I are here."

_Yes. You and Kirroth will always be there, be _together_, while I have only Sask, _Sattil thought, his heart squeezing even while he pulled out his jaw, puffing his chest out bravely.

Sask butted at her handler, grumbling her annoyance at his thoughts, which she could vaguely sense.

"Ah, no offense, girl," Sattil assured her, rubbing her shoulder.

T'nar lifted his eyebrow, not sure what was going on, but then his eyes unfocused, and he nodded slowly.

"Well, Kirr and I should get back to the Weyr," he said, thinking with dread the thought of dealing with those self-important riders who would complain about their new Wing assignments. Not only would the weyrlings be getting new Wings. It was also time for some other riders to be put in different places.

"Well, g'bye, then," Sattil said quietly, thinking with a pang of the joy he had always felt, riding home with Pinceath after a long day out-Weyr.

He watched the bronzerider turn and walk back out to his beast. Sask made a consoling noise, yawned, curled up, and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Kirroth and Lilianth once more fell entwined. T'nar hugged Lynnia to him, proud. Lilianth had flown the highest any queen ever had. That meant a good clutch. 

T'nar, falling asleep, vaguely remembered that he should send a Searchrider to Lemos Hold the next day.

* * *

Kaeyi gave Sattil a good-bye hug. "I'll miss you," she said, looking into the dragonless man's eyes. 

He needed her. She knew that. Sask wasn't _too _hard to take care of, but sometimes, he would get that terrible pain in his eyes, would disappear for hours, or just give up, no matter how much Sask wailed.

"And I you," he said. "But… the – the dragons… need you."

Kaeyi wanted to tell him to come to the Hatching. She wanted him to be there if she Impressed. But how could she make him come, watch new dragons be born? It would cut him too deeply.

F'lil leaned lazily against Tisith's side. When Kaeyi stepped back from Sattil, F'lil surprised her by coming forward and gripping the dragonless man's shoulder.

"Take care," he said softly.

Sattil swallowed hard before he answered. "I'll do my best," he finally replied.

Kaeyi felt her heart ache. She felt terrible, leaving Sattil. But she wanted a dragon.

They all stood there for a moment longer, then F'lil gestured for Kaeyi to mount his dragon.

It was bit difficult, as Tisith was so big, but Kaeyi was too excited to be riding a dragon to be embarrassed.

As Tisith took off, snapping Kaeyi's head back sharply, she imagined what the eggs must look like, gleaming on the Sands. There were thirty-eight, but no queen egg.

Kaeyi didn't care if there were no queens. Green dragons were still dragons. And besides, a green would be like Sask.

"We're going _between_," F'lil bellowed, then, they were.

Kaeyi felt her stomach knot, her skin freeze, the dark, cold, _nothingness_ pressing in all around her.

Right before she would have screamed, they came out. Kaeyi panted heavily, her gasping breath sounding harsh to her own ears.

Kaeyi barely registered this fact, however. She gazed, enchanted, at the Weyr.

Dragons, every color, soared about, or rested on the ledges of their weyrs. Kaeyi could almost see the eggs, tiny pinpricks. She could definitely see Lilianth, standing guard proudly over them.

Kaeyi saw another queen, standing in front another weyr. Kaeyi realized that she must be Nikkith, the junior queen. Next to her was a big bronze.

Tisith assumed a lazy downward spiral, coming to land finally by the Lake, next to a brown dragon.

F'lil dismounted, helping Kaeyi down.

"Bluerider," the brown's rider said. F'lil shook his hand, then turned to Kaeyi.

"This is K'liar," he said. "He's weyrlingmaster here at the Weyr. He'll be instructing you until the eggs Hatch, at which point, if you have Impressed, he will walk you through raising your dragon."

F'lil then vaulted to Tisith's neck. The blue sprang skyward. Then, he landed neatly on a high weyrledge.

"And who might you be?" K'liar asked.

Kaeyi felt suddenly shy, in a new place, with no one she knew nearby. "I'm Kaeyi," she said. "From Lemos Hold."

"Well, you aren't so much a holdgirl any more," K'liar pointed out. "You're _weyrfolk_ now."

"What if I don't Impress?" Kaeyi asked anxiously.

K'liar shrugged. "You'll have the choice to either go back to your hold, or stay on here at the Weyr," he said.

"Have any other candidates arrived yet?" Kaeyi asked K'liar.

"Yes," the brownrider replied. "Two other girls, and four lads. As soon as Lilianth shreed on the Sands, about seven blues and greens went out Searching. I was actually just going to go see how the girls are doing. Care to come with?"

Kaeyi nodded, and K'liar helped her climb onto his Fiarloth. The brown barely glided a little way, to the eating caverns, before landing delicately.

"Thanks, Fiarloth," Kaeyi said, greatly daring.

"Fi says 'You're welcome'," K'liar said, amused. He led Kaeyi through to the doorway. He walked over to four girls, sitting at a table, drinking _klah_.

"Awyi! Nemna! Oh, hi, Rakara, Liolet," K'liar said. The girls waved at him.

K'liar steered Kaeyi to the table, his hand firmly on her shoulder. Kaeyi found it comforting. She was still a bit shy.

"Girls, this is Kaeyi," K'liar said. "This is Awyi," he said, pointing to a slight, dark-haired girl. "And this is Nemna," he said, gesturing to a girl with a small nose and nondescript brown hair.

"They've both been Searched for Lilianth's clutch," K'liar continued. "Oh, and these are Rakara and Liolet. They're weyrbred, and won't be standing as candidates yet. Long story, don't ask."

Kaeyi didn't.

"Sit down," Awyi said, smiling cheerfully at Kaeyi and patting the bench next to her.

Kaeyi did, reassured by the girl's welcoming manner.

"Where you from?" Nemna asked. She was sitting across the table from Kaeyi, her brown eyes light and curious.

"Lemos Hold," Kaeyi replied.

Just then, a very good-looking lad sauntered by. Rakara and Liolet, the weyrbred girls, giggled softly. Then, Liolet said, "Hi, Z'tar."

He nodded, flashing them the brightest grin that Kaeyi had ever seen.

"Li, 'Kar," he said. Liolet and Rakara turned back to the other girls, blushing slightly.

"Who's that?" Kaeyi asked. He _had _been good-looking. He stood out, bright and bubbly, but seemed a bit of a show-off to her.

"Z'tar, rider of bronze Apperith," Liolet said. "His bronze is known for doing the most _outrageous _maneuvers. He's infamous for it. The other day, he almost hit the side of the Weyr, he was being so risky. But, at the _last second_, he –,"

Kaeyi sighed to herself. Apparently, he _was _a show-off. She had no time for _that _kind of man. She suddenly found herself thinking of Sattil and Sask. She wondered how they were doing. She hoped they were all right.

"What're you thinking?"

Kaeyi jumped. "Huh?"

"You looked like you were thinking hard about something," Awyi said.

"Just thinking about my home Hold," Kaeyi said. It was mostly the truth.

"Is it true that there are more handsome men in Lemos?" Rakara asked eagerly.

Kaeyi grinned. "Well… none of the Blood are. But some, yes."

"Only some?" Rakara said, looking greatly disappointed.

"And not of the Blood?" Liolet frowned. "Aren't they usually better-looking?"

The conversation then turned to where the good-looking men were, and what a good-looker _was_, and Kaeyi began to wonder if this wasn't the reason that they wouldn't be standing for Lilianth's clutch.

Soon, K'liar came over to them, herding along in front of him seven lads. None were much younger than Kaeyi. She wondered if it was becoming common to Search older boys.

"Kaeyi, Awyi, Nemna," K'liar said. "These're the male candidates that've been Searched so far."

He shoved the nearest one down on the bench beside Kaeyi, gesturing for the others to follow suit.

The lad next to Kaeyi winced, rubbing his shoulder where K'liar had shoved him into the bench.

"I'm Kaeyi," Kaeyi said, trying to make friendly conversation. The boy next to her just scowled at her, but across the table, someone said, "I'm Balmil."

"I'm Garanorl!"

"I'm Raggormorar!"

"I'm Nanzotor!"

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

**Not my favorite chapter, but pretty long (for me). I finally updated, so be glad! I'd love it if you could review. I'd like to thank everyone who has so far: Bryan McMahon, Kitsuneko, shanie, astrokath, CrossoverQueen, Afanen, lilybee, and "me" (not _me_, but a reviewer). Please continue to do so! I really appreciate concrit. It helps me get better.**

**(By the way, I know there were a lot of new names in this chapter. Sorry about that. The only ones that you will need to know, I believe, are Nemna and Awyi. Please bear in mind that this was, for the most part, written a long time ago.)**


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